Heartbreaking thoughts and songs
by KiraTao
Summary: One year after Riku, Sora and Kairi retuned to Destiny Islands. It’s Rikus’ birthday … but the birthday boy aren’t happy about his live at all… his heart is in pain…
1. One year, more pain

Title: Heartbreaking thoughts

**Title**: Heartbreaking thoughts and songs.

**Parings: **main – Cloud/Riku, others would come out letter

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

**Summary:**One year after Riku, Sora and Kairi retuned to Destiny Islands. It's Rikus' birthday … but the birthday boy aren't happy about his live at all… his heart is in pain…

**Warning**: It's yaoi, so if you don't like yaoi don't read it…

**Chapter ****1.**

One year, more pain…

Riku was sitting on the windowsill in his room, looking out of the window with the sorrow look on his face

.

It was already a year after they retuned from there crazy trip. Everybody was happy to see them. Rikus' mother and sister was so happy to see him back at home that they were crying for half and hour while hugging him. Riku was also happy to see them… but he wasn't happy at all about being once again on these closed islands… because he left his heart in another world … with the only one he loved with his whole heart…

"Cloud" – Riku whispered really quietly…

Yes, Cloud was the one to still the silver haired beauty's heart.

They met around the time when Cloud was working for Headas. They both immediately caught each others eyes. It didn't took them long to fell in love and confess to one another. Anyone who so them together would easily tell that they loved each other with whole heart. If it wasn't for Cloud, Riku thought that he would have never lived through the year when Sora was sleeping. And if it wasn't for Cloud, Riku wouldn't have accepted the fact that he looked like Ansem so quickly. Cloud was Rikus' everything: his heart, his mind, his soul. And it broke the boy's heart that the last time Cloud saw he was in the Ansems' form.

Rikus' line of thoughts was broken when he heard voices downstairs. He knew that his friends and family were waiting for him to come down and party with them because it his 17-th birthday.

But… he couldn't go them… not after all the lies hi made and unsaid things that he really needed to tell them…

He didn't tell nor his friends nor his Family about Cloud… He was really afraid of reaction that he would get. He was afraid that they would be disgusted with him and that he has… Or... had (he doesn't know anymore) a boyfriend…

The thought about unsaid things… drifted his thoughts to another one… about… his father…

"Sephiroth"- whispered Riku even more quietly…

Yes, Sephiroth was his father. At first he was shocked. He never knew who his and his sister's father was, but he never thought that he would be meet him in another dimension and for him to be a psycho killer. But at the time of their first meeting Sephiroth already got rid of Jenova and once again a sane person…

Riku brought his knees near his chest and put his head on them. He was so broken that he was ready to cry… He felt really bad about not telling his sister and mother that he met their father.

His mother loved him with whole heart and was always waiting for his return.

He started to hum some liens of unfinished song

_The thought that we would never see each other again_

_Is breaking my heart into peaces …_

Riku sat like this a little bit longer (humming the tune), and then got up. He went to his door, opened it and heard voices more clearly this time. They were talking, laughing and… waiting …

He turned his head to look at himself in the mirror in his room? That was just in front of the door…

He looked horrible. He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked really exhausted. He sighed and turned around leaving his room once again humming that unfinished tune…

…_I am loosing my mind thinking of you_

_And the thought of the life without you…_

To be continued …


	2. The past and the present

Title: Heartbreaking thoughts and songs

**Title**: Heartbreaking thoughts and songs.

**Parings: **main – Cloud/Riku, others would come out letter

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

**Summary:**One year after Riku, Sora and Kairi retuned to Destiny Islands. It's Rikus' birthday … but the birthday boy aren't happy about his live at all… his heart is in pain…

**Warning**: It's yaoi, so if you don't like yaoi don't read it…

**Chapter 2.**

The past and the present.

With quiet steps Riku came down the ladder.

At first he went to the kitchen. He saw a table with big birthday cake and his name on it, many different kinds of sweets and snacks.

Then he went into the living room and stopped in the doors.

Everything was so bright so beautiful, different decorations and a happy atmosphere. There was a big table in the center of the room with different presents for him. Every body was laughing happily. All of his friends from Destiny Islands were here.

Riku cast his eyes down because his thoughts immediately drifted to his 16-th birthday, it was around the time when Sora was sleeping and he didn't changed his body into Ansems'… yet

_It was around 7 o'clock in the morning. Riku yawned and went downstairs of the house he was sharing with Leon and Cloud while he was staying in the Hollow Bastion (it was still called like this at that time). He went in to kitchen because he decided that it's time to prepare breakfast._

_He was really shocked to see the breakfast already prepared and all his friends from Hollow Bastion to be there. The most things that shocked him were the birthday cake in the center of the table._

"_Happy Birthday Riku!!" – Thy said at once. _

_Everyone was there even his father. And they were all smiling at him._

_He couldn't contain his emotions any longer and cried._

"_Hey, birthday boy, it isn't good to cry on your own birthday" – said Cid putting his cigarette down._

"_YE! You must be happy on the day like this! Stop crying! You need to open the presents and blew the candles and cut the cake and…" – started shouting Yuffie._

"_Shut up, Yuffie!" – said Leon – " But in fact she is right, no need to cry you need to cheer up."_

"_It… just…I… how…" – Riku tried to say something but failed miserably._

"_Riku you deserve this no need to think about it any future"- told Sephiroth and smiled slightly at Riku. _

_At this Riku started to cry even more. But than he felt that someone was hugging him. He opened his eyes and so that it was Cloud._

"_Shhh… everything ok …you are with friends…you are with me" – whispered Cloud and kissed Riku._

_Riku was really happy and kissed him back with all the love and passion that he was able to get._

_When they Broke apart the whispered to each other_

"_I love you Riku"_

"_I love you too Cloud"  
_

_It was the happiest day in Riku's life… and the last one… because the next day he went to Diz and changed his body into Ansems'… _

"Hey! Riku! You finally came down!"- Sora's vice broke him from his train of thoughts.

Riku looked around and saw that everyone in the room were looking and smiling at him. But in their eyes he could see the worry.

"Happy Birthday Riku!" – They said to him.

"Thank you" – Riku said really quietly.

"Hey, Brother! You need to look at the presents" – His sister, Aya, told him.

He went to the table with presents and looked at them. They all were in bright papers of different colors. But one present caught his eyes it was in plan box. When he opened it he so a mobile phone in there. When he took it in his hand it started ringing… it was the same unfinished tune that Riku was humming back in his room…

…_When I think about our past_

_I see all the smile , I see all the pain_

_I see only you…_

Hesitantly Riku answered the phone.

"Yes?"

"Hey… Riku… open the door to us… please" – answered the voice that Riku thought that he would never hear again.

Riku immediately run to the door and when he opened it he droped the phone and nearly ctied…

"Cloud…"

**To be continued …**

A/N Please review, I would really appreciate it )


	3. Lost Love

Title: Heartbreaking thoughts and songs

**Title**: Heartbreaking thoughts and songs.

**Parings: **main – Cloud/Riku, others would come out letter

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

**Summary:**One year after Riku, Sora and Kairi retuned to Destiny Islands. It's Rikus' birthday … but the birthday boy aren't happy about his live at all… his heart is in pain…

**Warning**: It's yaoi, so if you don't like yaoi don't read it…

**Chapter 3.**

**Lost Love.**

_Riku immediately run to the door and when he opened it he dropped the phone and nearly cried…_

"_Cloud…"_

…

And there hi was…

Cloud was standing before the house and smiling really brightly like never before.

One glance at him and you could easily tell that he was in love with the shocked silver haired beauty that was standing in the doors.

Everybody in the living room was looking curiously at their shocked friend. Sora and Kairi was frowning thinking along the lines:' Why Cloud is here and How does he know Riku?'

Aya was also frowning at the strange blond that is making her little brother look like he is ready to cry.

"Cloud" – Riku whispered once again ... he was shaking and afraid to make a steep thinking it is only an illusion that his mind is making him see…

"Riku" – said Cloud quit clearly for the boy to hear and opened his arms so that the boy could run into them…

Whish he did…

Riku run right in Cloud's arms and hugged him tightly and started sobbing in his arms.

"Cloud…Cloud…Cloud…sob… You are really here? ...sob…it is not another dream?

Cloud closed his arms around the boy and hugged him back.

"No Riku I am really here. I am so happy to see you."

Riku looked cloud in the eyes. They were nearly the same height.

"You wouldn't understand how I am happy to see you. I thought that I lost you forever" – Riku, Who somehow was able to control his tears to say this, was ready to fall down and cry once again. It wasn't tears of sadness it was tears of pure happiness.

"Oh, Riku! I would never leave you. You are my live, you are my love" – Cloud said with half broken voice… because he himself looked like he was ready to cry…

They were standing in each others arms …

Their foreheads were touching…

Their lips were only centimeters away…

"Ahem…"

Both boys turned around and saw that all Riku's guests were now outside the house and were looking strangely at them.

Sora and Kairi were shocked…

Aya was frowning even more…

Riku's mother was looking curiously at them.

Both Riku and Cloud were shocked, because they completely forgot about them, they were completely lost for words and their position didn't help at all. Their arms were warped around the other and they were caught nearly kissing a moment ago.

Riku's mother looked from one to another and then smiled… which shocked the boys even more.

"Riku, honey, why don't you tell us who is your friend and then we could go back to the house and open your other presents?"

Riku looked at his mother than back at Cloud. He stepped a little away from Cloud dropping his arms around him but taking one of his arms in his. Than looked back at his friends and family.

"Mather, Aya, gays, this is Cloud. Hi is… "– hi stooped looked at Cloud who smiled at him and encouraged him to continue. Riku blushed a little and remember the tune that was haunting him all day…

…_Without you my heart is burning_

_Without you my mind doesn't working at all_

_Because without you my soul breaks into pieces…_

"Hi is my boyfriend"- looking at Cloud with love which Cloud gladly returned in his gaze.

"Oh, Riku, sweetheart, I am so happy for you. Now lets all go back in the house. The cake and presents are waiting!" – Riku's mother happily cried out and pushed them back inside.

Riku and Cloud went in last.

Riku was happy that his mother took this news so well. But Aya and the others… he didn't know yet… he would need to talk with them… he need to tell them so much… but he still didn't knew how to do it… but…

Frown of depression returned to Riku's face… But Cloud immediately saw it and put his arms around Riku, while they were going inside the house, and kissed his head…

…But…for now Riku was happy because he had Cloud back… And that was all he needed… for now…

…_All that I need is your love_

_All that I want is your smile_

_You are my heart, you are my live…_

As the door closed after them Riku understand that this will bring many changes to his life and not all would be good…

**To be continued…**

A/N Please review, I would really appreciate it )


	4. Mother and Father

Title: Heartbreaking thoughts and songs

**Title**: Heartbreaking thoughts and songs.

**Parings: **main – Cloud/Riku, others would come out letter

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

**Summary:**One year after Riku, Sora and Kairi retuned to Destiny Islands. It's Rikus' birthday … but the birthday boy aren't happy about his live at all… his heart is in pain…

**Warning**: It's yaoi, so if you don't like yaoi don't read it…

**A/N.** **SillyTenku **I would be really grateful if you became my beta. Because I can't check my grammar and spelling by myself (even in my native language) and I don't see my own mistakes.

**Chapter 4.**

**Mother and father.**

The second Riku and Cloud went inside the house they were immediately bombarded with questions.

"When and where did you meet?'

"How long this is going on?"

"And why didn't you tell as anything?!"

This last statement was directed to Riku, together with angry glares.

"Ah… I…it didn't…come around"

Riku mumbled and turned away from the others. This question was tormenting him for several months. Why didn't he tell them? Why was he afraid? When did he become such liar and coward?

He was frowning deeply and Cloud saw it. He wasn't sure what exactly were tormenting his silver angel but he knew it was something deep. Something that was coming directly from Riku's heart and causing him such pain.

Cloud tried to look in Riku's eyes but the boy casted them down. Like he was afraid that Cloud would see all the truth because Riku's eyes couldn't lie. It was the most emotional and opened part of him. And he was afraid of it…

Cloud squeezed silver haired beauty's hand and smiled warmly at him trying to calm the boy.

At this gesture Riku snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Cloud suddenly remembering something that he wanted to ask.

The blonde smiled and lead silver one in living room and sat him on the sofa. Others stopped asking questions after seeing their friend's reaction and just followed the two looking, listening and observing carefully. Expect for Riku's mother who was finishing the cake hamming strangely the same tune that was chasing after Riku all day…

…_Take my hand_

_And take me away_

_From all of the pain and sorrow_

_I loved you once and I will love you again…_

If Riku had heard her now he would have asked where she heard that tune and what this song meant. Who was these two persons in the song… were they he and Cloud … or maybe…no…it wasn't possible… but than again there was nothing impossible in that crazy world…. But then again… they?! … no not real… but why …. And he… and they… and now?

But Riku wasn't in the kitchen at that time and haven't heard his mother singing he was in the living room with Cloud looking at the one he thought he lost trying to ask one simple question…

"How did you get here?"

"I was miserable without you. I thought that my heart died the day you went to the World That Never was to help Sora kill Xenort and haven't returned. At that time I thought that you died and if it wasn't for King and Leon I would have surely killed myself. But when King told me that there was a possibility that some of the holes between the worlds were still open and on his gummy ship I would have been able to come here, come to you"

Riku was shocked as was the others in the room especially Sora and Kairi who new Cloud as an unemotional and quiet person. And to hear him say such things and in the same sentence and for so long, it was something hilarious!

Riku was ready to cry once again. It was too much for one boy to bear. Too much pain, too much thought, to much emotions, too much love…

Cloud saw that Riku was nearly crying again and reached out to hug his loved one.

But at that second something happened that nobody was ready for.

Aya came to Cloud and slapped him really hard!

"Don't you dare touch my brother! How old are you! What for do you need my brother!"

Cloud looked at her with wide eyes.

"I love him…" – Cloud tried to say but Aya slapped him again.

"I DON"T BELIVE YOU!!"

She reached to slap him again but someone's hand stopped her. Everyone looked up to see who it was and saw…

"Sephiroth" – whispered Sora

Aya was shocked to see the person before her; she only saw him on the photos but understood who it was.

"And I thought where did you go" – said Cloud.

Riku immediately turned to blonde; he wanted to ask … but then remembered… _'Hey… Riku…_ _open the door to us… please' _

They came here together… But how?... Both of them couldn't stand to be in the same room with the other.

Riku snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the sounded of broken glass. He looked at the door of the living room and saw his mother looking at Sephiroth.

Riku quickly stand up looked at everyone then turned back to his mother and started to speak.

"Mother…I…"- he tried but then the strange pain went through his head.

He once again heard that strange tune before his mined started to black out.

…_I will bring you pain_

_You will bring me more_

_But the love will still be there…_

**To be continued…**


End file.
